Magazines and Entertainment programs always refer to Madonna as “the former Material Girl.” This has gotten a tad old and predictable and we can’t let magazines and Entertainment programs become predictable. Here are some other names they can use to describe her:

“the former girl who used to have sex with Warren Beatty”

“the never actress”

“the author…Hahahahahahaha!!!! Sorry that joke always gets me.”

“the original Robin Wright-Penn”

“the former Jersey Michigan girl who now pretends she’s a British girl”

“the former whore”

“the current immaterial girl”

That should keep readers on their toes. Press inquires can be made here. Note to possible employers: I am cheap, but expensive.

I’ll let Goldenfiddle take it from here.


  1. Technically… she would be “the former Michigan girl who now pretends she’s a British girl”

  2. Ooops. I forgot to check my Madonnanemicron. Thanks Sean!




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