DIE ACTOR DIE

I recently saw DIARY OF THE DEAD…at The Riverview on Delaware Avenue!!!! Yeah give it up for my D-AVE brothers!

Anywho, it stunk. I mean it was a fine horror movie if you don’t like horror in your horror movies, but as a modern update of THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK, I am sorry it just didn’t work. (Sure the scene between the zombie Anne and zombie Peter Van Daan was touching but there’s only so much believable stuff zombies can do in an attic for two years. Eventually they are going to eat each other.)

The Director George A. Romero is a genre-busting director. He was the originator of the zombie genre (if you ignore DW Griffith’s racist BIRTH OF A NEGRO ZOMBIE NATION). But methinks the time has come for Mr. Romero to, how do I say this, move on!

At last count, Mr. Romero has made about 2,465 movies, 2,464 of them zombie themed. A brief listing showcases the more far-fetched examples:

- Night of the Living Dead: a classic and subversive horror film that became an analogy for racism in America.

- Day of the Dead: Kind of the same thing but during the day and in a mall.

- Afternoon of the Dead: Ditto but during…well you get the idea.

- City of the Dead: Zombies want to eat Dennis Hopper. John Leguizamo is John Leguizamo. Sadly he doesn’t die.

- The Music Dead: a huckster zombie comes to a small Iowa town to start a marching band and falls in love with a local librarian. He later eats her.

- War and Peace and the Dead: A long movie!

- The Quick and the Dead and the Dead: Western with Sharon Stone as a gun fighting zombie. At least she looked like a zombie.
- Brunch of the Dead: Four zombies talk about their sexual escapades over brunch and bloody marys, made with real blood and real Marys.

- Terms of Endeadment: No idea. The title doesn’t even make sense!

- Sense and Sensibility As It Applies To Being A Zombie in the 19th Century: Title speaks for itself.

I think you see my point. Unfortunately, Mr. Romero does not.

Upon completing JAWS, Steven Spielberg moved on to make the classic 1941, solidifying his career as a master of the madcap farce. George Lucas redefined the sci-fi adventure movie in the 70s and 80s with the STAR WARS trilogy. Did he repeat that genius again and again? He sure didn’t!

Hey, I don’t begrudge a man his livelihood. Heck if there are people out there who will watch his movies and feel good about themselves and their not being amongst the walking-dead, then my whole premise is pointless and I am just some douchebag with a blog posting.

But even Mel Gibson knew when to stop making Lethal Weapon movies.

OK, bad example.